


Lost Without You

by evil_giraffe



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Post-Season/Series Finale, Presumed Dead, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 09:42:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24468922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evil_giraffe/pseuds/evil_giraffe
Summary: Following 10x22, Steve's plane never makes it off the ground due to unthinkable circumstances.
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 52
Kudos: 182





	1. Steve

**Author's Note:**

> Tags and summary are deliberately vague to maintain the element of surprise. Major character death is implied but does not actually occur.
> 
> I swear I do have 'normal' story ideas, but right now my brain seems to want to focus on escapist nonsense. Very strange sort-of fix-it's appear to be becoming my thing...

The plane is getting close to the front of the line for departure when the captain announces that they’re returning to the terminal for a passenger to disembark. He apologizes for the inconvenience and says there’s no cause for alarm, but Steve immediately feels an inexplicable sense of dread. He glances at Catherine, who gives him a reassuring smile but looks a little concerned herself. This is certainly highly unusual, particularly when there’s been no sign of a medical emergency or any other disturbance on board.

As they begin to taxi back to the terminal, a flight attendant heads along the aisle from the front of the plane, clearly keeping an eye on the row numbers. She pauses beside Catherine but focuses her attention on Steve as she asks, “Commander McGarrett?”

“Yes,” he confirms, hand reflexively tightening on Catherine’s as his stomach sinks even further. All he wanted was a few months to relax and get away from the never ending stress his life has become, but apparently the universe has other plans.

The flight attendant continues, “We received an urgent call from Five-0 requesting that we turn around immediately. They said they’ll call to explain as soon as your phone is back on.”

Now Steve is seriously worried, because the team knows how important this trip is to him, so whatever is going on must be dire. He manages to thank the flight attendant and as she walks away, Steve retrieves his phone with his left hand. His right is probably now exerting an uncomfortable amount of pressure on Catherine’s but she makes no complaint. As soon as Steve’s phone is out of airplane mode, it rings.

He answers quickly. “Lou? What…”

“Steve,” Lou interrupts, and oh god no, it’s obvious that he’s crying. “I’m so sorry but you need to come home right away. It’s Danny. He’s… gone.”

Steve’s heart clenches even as his mind rejects these words. “What do you mean Danny’s gone? He sent me a message less than thirty minutes ago.”

Lou pauses for a couple of seconds but the delay feels endless. “He went into the ocean. Junior saw him go under and he didn’t come back up. We had most of the team in the water within minutes, and some of them are still out there, but Danny’s just… gone. He can’t possibly have survived.”

This cannot be happening; Steve simply refuses to accept it. For one thing, it makes no sense at all. “Danny hates the ocean. Why the hell would he suddenly decide to go swimming while injured?”

“I don’t know what to tell you,” Lou says bleakly. “We wouldn’t have believed it either if Junior hadn’t stepped outside just in time to see it. But the why doesn’t really matter, it doesn’t change the fact that we’ve lost him.”

An icy coldness starts in Steve’s heart and quickly spreads throughout his whole body. The world around him seems to fade away as he freezes completely. He’s dimly aware of Catherine attempting to speak to him before she reaches across to pluck the phone out of his hand to talk to Lou herself.

Later, Steve has absolutely no recollection of getting off the plane or the journey back to his house. It’s a good thing that Catherine was there to take control of the situation. When he returns to reality, Steve is standing on his beach observing his friends scattered around in various states of distress. Most of them are wrapped in towels, having been out in the ocean frantically searching for Danny. Junior has only just emerged from the water and instantly collapses to sit on the wet sand, shaking and unmistakably distraught. Tani quickly moves to drop down beside him and they cling together desperately. Several people make as if to approach Steve when they notice his presence, but whatever look is on his face stops them in their tracks. Eddie however is undeterred, running over to nose at Steve’s legs, whining anxiously, but Steve ignores him.

Catherine gently takes Steve’s arm and steers him towards Lou, who is sitting in Steve’s chair, leaning forward with his head in his hands. As they get closer, Steve only has eyes for Danny’s chair, which contains the clothes Danny was wearing when Steve last saw him as well as his cane. The total numbness Steve has been experiencing is abruptly replaced with overwhelming anger. He yanks his arm out of Catherine’s grasp, picks up the cane and throws it as hard as he can, then violently kicks the chair over. Eddie gamely runs off to retrieve the cane but then disappears into the house with it, seemingly wanting to protect the item from Steve’s wrath.

Lou suddenly appears beside Steve and bravely grabs him in a bear hug. Steve struggles against the hold for a moment, before his rage subsides as quickly as it had appeared and he sags against his friend. He feels tears welling up but can’t let himself cry yet. He’s worried that once he starts he might never stop.

A truly horrible thought occurs to him, and he asks grimly, “Has anyone told Rachel?” He’s appalled that he’s been so wrapped up in his own anguish that he hasn’t paused to consider Charlie and Grace any sooner.

“Quinn is talking to her now,” Lou informs him sadly. “We would have preferred to do it in person but Rachel called Danny’s phone a bunch of times and started sending increasingly concerned text messages. Quinn picked it up when she called again a few minutes ago.”

As if summoned, Quinn is suddenly hurrying towards them, sporting a huge smile that seems completely out of place, as she yells urgently, “Guys, get over here! _Now_!”

Within a minute, everyone is assembled in a close group. Lou has released Steve from the hug but still has a hand on his shoulder.

“Rachel says Danny’s not dead,” Quinn announces excitedly. Steve feels a tentative spark of hope, but wonders how Rachel could possibly know that. Quinn holds Danny’s phone out on the palm of her hand. “Go ahead Rachel, you’re on speaker.”

“Hello everyone,” Rachel says calmly. “I appreciate this will come as a shock to you, but if Danny definitely went into the water he can’t be dead. He’s a shifter. An _aquatic_ shifter.”

Steve feels dizzy from the onslaught of conflicting emotions that wash over him. He is indeed shocked, because shifters are incredibly rare, having been hunted almost to extinction centuries ago by despicable people who mistakenly believed that various concoctions involving shifter parts had health benefits for regular people. Next, he’s deeply wounded that Danny has never told him about this. But mostly, he’s so relieved that he can barely breathe. He vaguely registers everyone else’s reactions; initial surprise giving way to relief and happiness all around.

Rachel continues, “There was an incident when Danny was young and he hasn’t shifted since.”

“Billy Selway?” Steve asks.

“Yes.”

Steve frowns in confusion. “Danny told me that Billy got caught in an undertow trying to rescue Danny from a riptide. But if Danny’s aquatic, that can’t be true.”

“No,” Rachel confirms. “The truth is, Danny lost track of Billy while they were playing around in the water. Danny came down from a breach and landed directly on top of Billy. The impact was fatal and Danny has never forgiven himself.”

A fresh wave of shock hits Steve. Shifters in general are rare, but shifters whose animal form is significantly larger than their human body are the rarest of all. The only aquatic shifters Steve has ever encountered were a porpoise and a harbor seal, so his curiosity is immeasurable. “Rachel, what…?”

“He’s an orca.”

There’s a collective gasp and Steve finds himself laughing a bit maniacally. Rachel might as well have just said Danny is a _unicorn_. Although this does make Danny’s claustrophobia make sense; large shifters are instinctively fearful of spaces too small to allow them to shift. Steve now feels worse than ever that he had occasionally given Danny a hard time about it. He forces himself into silence as quickly as possible. “I’m sorry,” he says afterwards, a little embarrassed by his reaction.

“Oh, believe me, I understand,” Rachel replies. “Danny didn’t even tell me until we started talking about having children. And before you ask, no, Grace and Charlie are not shifters. As I’m sure you all know, it’s a recessive trait. Neither of Danny’s parents are shifters and none of his siblings or other living relatives. I think that made it so much harder, not having anyone close to him who could understand what he was going through.”

Steve realizes he’s been so preoccupied with learning the truth about Danny that he hadn’t really processed the true horror of what happened to Billy Selway. Unfortunately, he’s intimately familiar with exactly how crippling guilt can be, but the thought that Danny feels so wretched that he has been completely denying a major part of himself for decades makes Steve’s heart ache.

Rachel interrupts his thoughts. “Everyone who knows has been warning Danny for years that unless he shifted voluntarily, some day he would lose control and shift whether he wanted to or not. I can only assume that the current combination of physical pain, emotional distress, and proximity to the ocean proved to be too much and his instincts took over. My research suggests that because it’s been so long, he might now find it extremely difficult to return to his human form.”

“Don’t worry,” Lou tells her, while Steve is busy wrestling with a fresh dose of guilt for his obvious part in triggering Danny’s current predicament. “Now that we know what we’re looking for, we’ll find him.”

“I have no doubt,” Rachel replies. “But I will of course let you know immediately should Danny return to dry land and get in touch with me.”

After receiving a round of very relieved thanks from most of the people present, Rachel hangs up.

Lou turns to Steve with an enormous grin on his tear-stained face. “Now that we know Danny is still out there somewhere, I’m so sorry we dragged you back here and scared the crap out of you,” he says. “If you still need to get away, you absolutely should. We’ve got this.”

“No,” Steve responds, firmly and without hesitation. “You heard Rachel, this happened due to physical pain, emotional distress, and proximity to the ocean. All of that is on me.” Steve holds up his hand to forestall the objections he knows are coming. There’s no point in anyone attempting to convince him he shouldn’t blame himself. “I’m heading out to look for Danny at first light and I’m not coming back without him.”

Steve spends the next hour or so arguing with all of his gathered friends about his intention to go looking for Danny alone. Ultimately his stubbornness pays off and they all surrender. They’re forced to agree that Danny would be mortified by the idea of the entire task force neglecting their duties in order to search for him when he’s not actually in any danger. It might not be what he originally had planned, but Steve reflects that spending some time alone on the open ocean should still give him the opportunity to unwind and gain some much needed perspective.

It doesn’t take too much longer for Steve to successfully arrange to borrow a boat and gather supplies for what could potentially be a somewhat lengthy voyage, although he hopes it will only be a matter of days and at most a week or two. Surely Danny won’t be able to stay away from Charlie for too long and Grace will also be back on the island soon enough. During the course of the evening, everyone slowly returns to their own homes, each of them wishing Steve luck and hugging him tightly before departing. Junior leaves with Tani, so Catherine spends the night in the guest room. She’s been noticeably subdued since Steve made it clear that he wants to be alone during his search.

Very early the next morning, Catherine accompanies Steve to the harbor where his boat is docked. During the drive, she asks to borrow his phone but doesn’t make a call, so he doesn’t really know what she’s doing with it. But when they arrive at the harbor, she hands it back and he can see she’s installed the PTSD Coach app. Steve has heard of it but has never been willing to admit he might need it.

“Please, use it,” Catherine says unsteadily. “You can’t keep ignoring your problems forever.”

“Okay,” Steve agrees, with less reluctance than either of them might have expected. She’s probably right that it’s long past time for him to face his issues.

Catherine helps to load the supplies onto the boat before they part with a long hug. Steve sets off quickly. The best theory they have at the moment is that Danny’s instinct would simply have been to put as much distance as possible between himself and the island, so Steve navigates to an area that lies in a straight line from his beach and then continues in that direction. Without specifying the reason why, Five-0 has arranged for an alert to go out that anyone who spots a male orca without a pod should notify the coastguard, who will then pass the information on. The team is also monitoring social media for any mentions, so hopefully a clue will arrive sooner or later. Steve has a sat-phone so they can keep him updated. Every hour on the hour he also transmits a Morse code message into the water, _‘Come home Danno.’_

Five days later, Steve is already starting to get frustrated. Danny has been spotted a few times, so Steve knows he’s headed in the right general direction, but as there doesn’t seem to be any logic in the path Danny is taking, catching up with him will be extraordinarily difficult unless something changes. Steve is extremely disappointed that his partner hasn’t responded to the Morse code message. The range of Danny’s hearing in his current form is so vast that he definitely should have heard it.

Steve has spent a lot of time contemplating Danny’s refusal to shift since Billy’s death. While in their animal forms, shifters rapidly heal from any injury unless it’s inflicted by a silver weapon, and that includes any injuries to their human forms. It’s heart-wrenching to realize how much Danny must truly hate himself to have never taken advantage of this ability to instantly fix himself any of the many times he’s been badly hurt. Had Steve known what Danny is that time they were stuck on a boat dying from a deadly bioweapon, he certainly would have ignored his partner’s wishes and thrown him overboard as soon as he was too weak to resist, trusting Danny’s natural instincts to kick in and save his life. However, Steve can relate to his partner’s self-loathing all too well; he has hated himself ever since he left Freddie to die and the feeling his only increased with each subsequent loss that he feels responsible for, although for years he has carefully concealed it under layers of false confidence and smug superiority.

His mind shies away from any deeper examination of this line of thought. Steve has started working his way through the app, and he can tell it definitely is going to be beneficial, but it’s far too early for any significant improvements. As he ends up doing quite frequently, Steve distracts himself by going for a swim. This might not be the smartest thing to do when he’s alone and often the only person for miles, but he’s very careful to keep track of the boat and a watchful eye out for sharks.

After another three weeks of fruitlessly chasing his partner, Steve is beyond frustrated and heading for disheartened. The only positive news is that Danny appears to be slowly heading back in the general direction of Oahu, although it’s a meandering path that will be quite time consuming if it continues. Steve finally caught a glimpse of Danny two days ago and frantically called out for him, but Danny immediately vanished into the depths and Steve hasn’t seen him since, although others have.

Recently Steve has been giving a lot of thought to his feelings for Danny. He can admit now that he’s in love with his partner, that he has been for years, and there are strong indications that Danny feels the same way. The intense fear of potentially destroying their friendship has definitely been a major factor keeping them apart, but Steve now suspects that their biggest problem has been that they have both been suffering from such strong feelings of self-loathing that on a very deep level neither of them believes that they deserve to be happy. Steve has been making slow progress on that front, but he’s aware that at some point he would probably benefit from professional help. The same is most likely true for Danny if he ever finds his way back to himself. Still, Steve thinks he might finally be ready to tell Danny how he truly feels. He’s sure now that the stress of suppressing those emotions was a huge part of the reason he felt like he needed to escape in the first place.

Steve’s musings are quickly put on hold when he suddenly catches another glimpse of a very distinctive dorsal fin. He carefully tries to maneuver the boat closer this time and cuts the engine before calling out, but the end result is the same; Danny dives out of sight. Steve throws caution to the wind and dives in after him, but can’t see anything. He vents his frustration with an underwater scream, then allows himself to start sinking now that he’s expended most of his air. He’s reasonably confident that Danny will show himself rather than allow Steve to drown.

Sure enough, as he’s just beginning to worry about how far down he is, a large black shape abruptly appears directly below Steve and he finds himself being propelled to the surface. Even while gasping for breath, he has the presence of mind to drape himself over Danny’s back and grab hold of his dorsal fin, to ensure he doesn’t try to disappear again. Once he’s recovered enough, Steve slides back into the water but keeps both hands on Danny as he moves along his side so he can look him in the eye, which is still the usual familiar shade of blue.

“Hey buddy,” Steve says quietly.

Danny glares at him, which is an extremely surreal sight, then lets loose a barrage of clearly agitated whistles and clicks.

“If you want to yell at me properly, you’re going to need your human vocal cords.”

Somehow, Danny manages to convey how thoroughly unimpressed he is with nothing more than a huff from his blowhole. Then he starts nudging Steve in the direction of the boat. Steve doesn’t try to resist. However, when they arrive beside the boat, he ignores his partner’s efforts to get him to climb aboard.

“No,” he says with determination, shaking his head for good measure. “I’m not getting on that boat without you.”

Danny responds with another round of furious vocalizations.

“Come on Danny.” Steve is aware his tone is verging on wheedling. “It’s time to go home. Everyone misses you and your kids need you.” Steve receives another glare for that one but he ignores it and carries on. “ _I_ need you. I love you Danny.”

Even in this form, Steve can see Danny’s eyes widen as he registers the distinct difference from how that usually sounds. Steve isn’t holding back anymore.

“I love you,” he repeats. “And I’m not going to leave you again.”

Danny stares at him for a moment before letting out a series of much softer sounds than before. Although he has no idea how, Steve senses that he’s winning his partner over, but he’s still having difficulty shifting back. He runs one of his hands along Danny’s head in a gentle caress.

“You’re so beautiful,” he says, and it’s a lot easier to be sappy while Danny is unable to mock him for it. “But then, I’ve always thought so. Come back to me babe.”

Steve experiences a brief moment of dismay when Danny pushes back from him a couple of feet and ducks down under the surface, but then there’s a disturbance in the water before a wonderfully familiar blond head emerges. At first, Steve is ecstatic as he reaches out and pulls Danny close, until he realizes that his partner is violently trembling and seems confused and unable to focus on anything. Steve makes quick work of closing the distance between them and the boat, then tries to get Danny to climb aboard ahead of him, but he doesn’t seem capable of doing so. There’s no option but to get on the boat first before reaching down to grab Danny and haul him bodily out of the water.

The maneuver is mostly successful, except Steve loses his footing and ends up flat on his back on the deck with Danny sprawled on top of him. His partner is gloriously naked, but given the state that he’s in, Steve is unable to enjoy it. He can only assume that after almost a month as an orca, Danny just needs time to adjust to the drastic changes to his body and his senses. Steve brings one hand up to cradle the back of Danny’s head and gently rubs his back with the other while murmuring comforting nonsense; even he isn’t sure exactly what he’s saying.

Eventually, Danny’s quivering begins to subside. He moves to press his nose more firmly against Steve’s neck and _sniffs_ him, before relaxing even further. It’s a lot more gratifying than Steve would ever have imagined.

“Are you with me buddy?” he asks.

Danny raises his head, but rather than focusing on Steve, he moves to hold up his hands in front of his face and frowns in concentration as he flexes and then wiggles his fingers. Then he reaches out and pinches Steve’s bicep. Hard.

“Ow, hey,” Steve protests weakly.

Danny clears his throat and finally meets Steve’s eyes with his own while his hands come to rest on Steve’s shoulders. “That’s for trying to drown yourself, you gigantic moron.”

Steve grins unrepentantly. “It worked didn’t it?”

“So not the point, Steven,” Danny says with a huff of annoyance, but then he’s smiling down at Steve despite himself.

Steve reaches up to reverently trace his fingertips over Danny’s face. His partner’s level of facial hair hasn’t changed during the past twenty seven days, as if time has been on hold for his human form, except for the fact that his injuries are completely gone. “I’ve missed you,” Steve whispers.

“Me too,” Danny replies, and in this case it’s maddeningly ambiguous, as Danny has actually been in a position to miss himself. Danny seems to realize this too, as he adds, “I’ve missed your dumb goofy face.”

Steve smiles contentedly. “I love you,” he says warmly.

Danny closes his eyes for a few seconds, but when he opens them again they’re so full of love that it takes Steve’s breath away. Still, Steve greatly appreciates hearing the words as Danny responds roughly, “I love you too.”

They smile at each other joyfully for a while after that, until Steve reflexively licks his lips and Danny’s eyes darken as he tracks the movement. He swiftly ducks down for an infinitely tender kiss, but pulls away as soon as Steve tries to intensify it.

“I love you,” Danny repeats. “But starting a new relationship isn’t going to make all our problems magically disappear, and I think it would be a big mistake to rush this.”

“Okay,” Steve agrees easily. “I still need more time away from work, and away from home, but I was hoping you’d come with me this time… maybe we can head to Maui so we’re close enough that the kids can join us whenever it’s your turn? I also intend to start therapy and you might want to consider that too.”

Danny stares at Steve quietly for a long moment, looking touched and reluctantly impressed. “Sounds like a great plan, babe,” he eventually decides, before ducking back down for another tragically brief kiss.

Steve sighs dramatically. “If you want me to keep my hands off you, you should probably get off of me and put some clothes on.”

Danny chuckles. “Right. Sorry.” He raises an eyebrow. “Close your eyes then.”

Steve raises his eyebrows right back. “Seriously? I’ve seen it all before.” But even as he says it, he obediently shuts his eyes. Danny rewards him with a peck on the forehead before moving away. Steve remains motionless until he’s sure his partner is safely below deck, then gets up, starts the engine, and points them in the direction of Oahu.

A short time later, a fully clothed Danny emerges and immediately invades Steve’s space, not that Steve objects in the slightest. They remain in comfortable silence for a long time, simply holding each other close and watching the ocean rush by. There’s a lot of hard work still ahead, and big decisions to make, but now that they’re together, Steve is confident that everything will work out just fine.


	2. Danny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn't originally intend to write this, but I'm currently in a situation where I have so many different story ideas I can't focus on any of them... so I decided to give Danny's POV a try in an attempt to clear my head.

After receiving no response to his _‘I miss you already’_ text, Danny sets his phone aside and stares blankly out at the ocean. The pain in his chest and his knee is extremely unpleasant, and yet it doesn’t come close to the agony of Steve leaving for an indeterminate amount of time, possibly forever, and damn him for putting that suggestion in Danny’s head. Steve might have said he needed to get away from work and from the island, which does make a certain amount of sense, but that doesn’t stop it from feeling like it was Danny he was really trying to escape from. Maybe the oblivious idiot finally realized how much Danny loves him and didn’t want to deal with it.

Danny experiences a strange sensation, like a magnetic force trying to pull him towards the water. At first he’s not too concerned about it; it’s just something that happens occasionally and he’s become adept at ignoring it. But this time it’s not going away, is in fact getting exponentially stronger and far more difficult to resist. He knows he’s in trouble when he starts to shake and his whole body suddenly feels itchy and _wrong_.

Without making any conscious decision to do so, Danny finds himself struggling to his feet and awkwardly hobbling towards the ocean, shedding his clothing as he goes. He knows there’s no stopping the shift at this point, so his only concern now is getting far enough out that he won’t end up beaching himself. He fights past the pain of his injuries in order to swim as quickly as possible. Pretty soon it won’t matter if he’s causing further damage to his human body in the process.

Once he judges the depth of the water to be sufficient, Danny dives under the surface and shifts for the first time in decades. Immediately, there’s no more physical pain and even his emotional turmoil suddenly fades into insignificance in the face of the overwhelming sensations of power and freedom. He’d forgotten how amazing this feels and of course his orca form is now a lot larger and stronger than it was last time. Danny remains under the water as he swims away from the island, testing the limits of his speed and lung capacity.

Time loses all meaning, but for a while Danny has no deeper thoughts beyond swim, hunt, explore, play. Occasionally he hears a series of beeps that tickle at something in the back of his mind, but he dismisses it as unimportant. Sometimes he gets mental images of a small boy, a young woman, a dark-haired man, and each time he feels a brief pang of regret, but he always shoves it aside in favor of enjoying the simple pleasures that his current existence has to offer.

Then one day, as he’s at the surface taking a breath, a voice calls out Danny’s name. He vaguely recognizes the voice, but immediately associates it with unbearable pain, so he flees into the ocean’s depths. However, the encounter shakes something loose in Danny’s mind, and he begins to remember who he really is, then quickly afterwards, who Charlie, Grace and Steve are. He hears the by now familiar repetitive pattern of beeps and recognizes the message for the first time. Suddenly he’s hit with an inescapable sense of shame and anguish, as he realizes that he has abandoned his family just as Steve abandoned him. He immediately heads for the surface and attempts to shift back to his human form, but he just can’t do it.

Over the next two days, Danny repeatedly tries to shift back but to no avail. He doesn’t know what’s wrong with him and is beginning to panic a little. When Steve finds him again and calls out for him, Danny’s instinct is still to flee. As he dives down deep, he realizes that he’s still profoundly hurt and angry and begins to consider that maybe that’s what’s holding him back. He’s just not sure how to let go of those feelings.

When Steve screams into the water, Danny stops moving further away but can’t quite bring himself to approach his partner either, until he realizes that the crazy bastard is allowing himself to sink, with no apparent intention to save himself. Danny powers through the water with impressive speed, but has to force himself to slow down before actually making contact. He’s furious with Steve for making him do this. Doesn’t he realize that if Danny miscalculated he could cause serious or even fatal damage to Steve’s fragile human body?

As soon as they reach the surface, Steve is gasping for breath but flings himself across Danny’s back and gets a tight grasp on his dorsal fin. Despite his righteous anger, Danny feels a wave of fondness for this ridiculous man. Eventually, Steve slides off into the water but runs one hand over Danny’s back and the other along his side as he moves so that they can make eye contact. Danny forces himself to focus on his anger to prevent himself from reacting to these delicate touches to his extremely sensitive skin.

“Hey buddy,” Steve says.

Danny glares at him. _‘What the hell is the matter with you?’_ he tries to shout, but of course the sounds that actually come out are incomprehensible. He continues regardless, _‘You could have died, or **worse** , I could have killed you, you irredeemable asshole.’_

Maddeningly, Steve smiles as he says, “If you want to yell at me properly, you’re going to need your human vocal cords.”

Danny huffs in frustration and starts to shove Steve towards the boat. But when they get to it, no amount of prodding will get Steve out of the water.

“No,” he says obstinately, with a shake of his head. “I’m not getting on that boat without you.”

_‘Damn it Steve,’_ Danny fumes. _‘Why can’t you do as you’re told for once in your life. I can’t come with you right now and I need you to be safe.’_

“Come on Danny. It’s time to go home. Everyone misses you and your kids need you.” Ouch, that’s a low blow, and Danny glares at Steve fiercely but he continues, “ _I_ need you. I love you Danny.”

It’s clear from Steve’s expression and his tone that unlike all the previous times he’s said those words to Danny, this one is a romantic declaration. Danny feels completely stunned.

“I love you,” Steve repeats. “And I’m not going to leave you again.”

Danny pauses for a moment, gauging Steve’s sincerity, before replying, _‘I love you too. But I’m also still mad at you for leaving in the first place and I seem to be stuck this way.’_

Steve smiles softly as he caresses Danny’s head and says, “You’re so beautiful. But then, I’ve always thought so. Come back to me babe.”

Somehow, Steve being a total sap is what gets Danny’s anger to dissipate. He pushes away and ducks under the water before shifting back. Things get a little hazy for a while after that. His body feels strange and weak and the brightness of his color vision is overwhelming.

When he starts to be able to make sense of the world around him, Danny finds himself lying on top of Steve on the deck of the boat, his eyes tightly closed against the assault of colors, as he trembles pathetically while his partner tries to soothe him with gentle touches and reassuring words. Eventually, he begins to calm down, but before attempting to summon enough courage to open his eyes, he instinctively seeks the additional comfort of deeply inhaling Steve’s scent. It’s a bit embarrassing but Steve doesn’t seem to mind.

“Are you with me buddy?” Steve asks.

Danny raises his head to carefully examine his own hands, trying to remember how they work. Once he’s got the hang of it, he pinches Steve’s arm viciously.

“Ow, hey,” Steve says, but it’s a bit subdued so he probably knows he deserves it.

Danny clears his throat and looks Steve in the eye before informing him, “That’s for trying to drown yourself, you gigantic moron.”

“It worked didn’t it?” Steve replies, grinning widely like the maniac he is.

“So not the point, Steven,” Danny admonishes him with a huff, but he can’t stop himself from smiling at the idiot.

Steve reaches up to thoroughly explore Danny’s face with his fingers, looking a little awed by the experience, as he whispers, “I’ve missed you.”

“Me too,” Danny says, realizing too late that the meaning of that is unclear under the circumstances. So he adds, “I’ve missed your dumb goofy face.”

Steve gives him a happy smile, clearly paying more attention to the fondness in his tone than the theoretically insulting words, before announcing once again, “I love you.”

Danny squeezes his eyes shut against the onslaught of his own emotions, but when he opens them again he doesn’t try to hide the full extent of his adoration and love for this infuriating man. “I love you too,” he says, with some difficulty.

They smile at each other like a pair of besotted fools until Steve licks his own lips and Danny can’t resist ducking down to kiss him softly. After all this time, it’s quite surreal but immensely satisfying. However, Danny puts a stop to it as soon as Steve tries to turn up the heat. One of them is going to have to be a responsible adult and prioritize what they need over what they want, and clearly that’s never going to be Steve.

“I love you,” Danny tells him again. “But starting a new relationship isn’t going to make all our problems magically disappear, and I think it would be a big mistake to rush this.”

Surprisingly, Steve doesn’t disagree. “Okay,” he says. “I still need more time away from work, and away from home, but I was hoping you’d come with me this time… maybe we can head to Maui so we’re close enough that the kids can join us whenever it’s your turn? I also intend to start therapy and you might want to consider that too.”

Danny stares at him for a long moment, marveling at this unexpected display of emotional awareness and falling deeper than ever after this reminder that Steve not only understands and respects that Danny’s kids will always come first, but he also loves them almost as much as Danny himself. Eventually he pulls himself together enough to say, “Sounds like a great plan, babe,” before indulging in another quick, chaste kiss.

Steve heaves a sigh as he announces, “If you want me to keep my hands off you, you should probably get off of me and put some clothes on.”

Danny chuckles; he’d pretty much forgotten his own nakedness. “Right. Sorry. Close your eyes then.”

Steve gives him an incredulous look. “Seriously? I’ve seen it all before.”

But he does shut his eyes, which Danny appreciates. A quick glimpse while changing is not at all the same as looking with intent. Danny drops a kiss on Steve’s forehead before getting up and slowly heading below deck on somewhat wobbly legs. Trying to wrestle his not entirely cooperative limbs into some clothing is an interesting experience.

As soon as he’s done, Danny returns to Steve’s side and shamelessly cuddles up against him. Just because he doesn’t want to immediately jump into bed with him doesn’t mean that he isn’t going to seize every opportunity to enjoy the fact that they’re now closer than ever. There’s no doubt they’re both going to have to put a lot of effort into dealing with their issues and making this relationship work, but for once Danny’s brain isn’t immediately jumping to the worst case scenario. There’s nothing quite like getting stuck as an enormous aquatic predator for a month to put things in perspective; he’s confident that together he and Steve can handle anything the world decides to throw at them.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thanks for reading and any comments and kudos are much appreciated x


End file.
